Dlisted: 02/13/2005 - 02/20/2005

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Hot Slut of the Day!

Nancy Dussault! I loved Too Close for Comfort!

Birthday Sluts

Benicio Del Toro (38)
Haylie Duff (20)
Gideon Yago (27)
Sunset Thomas (33)
Justine Bateman (39)
Seal (42)
Jeff Daniels (50)
Smokey Robinson (65)

Friday, February 18, 2005

12 Questions With....Kevin Townley

Kevin and Elvie Bartholomew!

In this installment of our beloved series 12 Questions With..., we have decided to spend some time with a real up and comer in the theater world. Kevin and I go way back to the days when life was much simpler and people were kinder. But now we are different people and I am America's sweetheart and he is a top billed Broadway star! Speaking of which...Kevin will soon be featured in the soon-to-be NYC hit Shockheaded Peter.

Kevin and I got together one Sunday afternoon in our favorite haunt, Wendy's, for a nice chat about life, love and Christine Baranski. So without further adieu, here is a transcript from that conversation:

1. Let’s get this party started with a real direct question! Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?

According to Eastern thought our job is to recognize the Buddha nature in all things, thereby unlearning the illusory differences between plant and animal, heaven and hell, you and me. So on the contrary,with each illicit encounter I feel I am coming closer to God (if I'm not being too subtle!!!).

2. You have been given the job to direct a big screen remake of the beloved classic "Gone with the Wind." Who would be your choice for
the coveted role of Scarlett O'Hara? Elvie Bartholomew, Dr. Jennifer or Myself?

I would cast Dr. Jennifer -- as a medical professional I know she would have the dedication and sensitivity required to bring Scarlett back to the big screen. While I am not sure what kind of doctor she is, she might in fact know something about birthin' babies, which would add another interesting dynamic to my adaptation of Margaret Mitchell's classic. Also, I have seen her drinking perfume for recreational purposes, so she would be a natural!

3. You are so mad at Smurfette because she ate the last cookie. You decide to choke the bitch. What color would she turn?

What the hell kinda goddamn questions are these?!

4. So NBC has given the greenlight for the sitcom of your life. What do you choose as your theme song?

The theme song to M*A*S*H!

5. So NBC has decided that you can't play yourself in this sitcom of your life. They ask you to choose someone to play you. Who would you choose?

Judy Davis.

6. What is the stupidest question you've been asked while out on a romantic date?

"You are so mad at Smurfette because she ate the last cookie. You decide to choke the bitch. What color would she turn?"

7. If shampoo comes in so many different colors, why does it turn white when you rub it on your head?

Because I got semen on the brain, all right?! Is that what you want to hear?!?! GOD, why do you make me say such GARBAGE?!?!?!

8. Where do you hold your most private thoughts?

Held firmly between my buttocks -- that way they don't slip out! THERE YOU GO AGAIN!!! I'm asking NICELY now!!!!

9. What would you do if you ruled Sierra Leone?

I believe men and women are equal under the laws of holy matrimony! As my bride she would be as free as the day we met! I would insist on a prenup though and ask her to give up her acting career.

10. What do you think should be done to increase Bismark, ND's tourism?

I think we should never underestimate the power of word-of-mouth. A site such as this, with its finger on the cross-cultural concerns of the nation, is an invaluable resource for the local merchants of Bismarck. While Bismarck enjoys tourists all the year round -- savvy travelers who come to ride the historic Fort Lincoln Trolley, the Lewis & Clark Riverboat or visit the Dakota Zoo (take a virtual tour)-- as we all know,increased tourism to North Dakota will help its floundering local economy. If you are not able to make a trip to the Peace Garden State this year, consider giving generously to The Greater North Dakota
Chamber of Commerce New Economy Initiative
. Remember, "Dakota" is the Sioux word for "Friend." Discover the Spirit!

11. Whose toes would you rather suck? Matt Damon's or Patrick Duffy's?

Matt Damon's! I do not pleasure liars and Patrick Duffy LIED TO ME! Whaddaya MEAN JR's death was just a DREAM?!?!?!?! Besides, have you seen the hoofs on that one? Ooof!

12. Star Jones is coming off of a crash diet and she is wreaking havoc on the city! You have hid underneath your bed. You know the end is near, because you can hear her outside eating your neighbors! What is going through your head?

"Okay, so you're mad at Smurfette because she ate the last cookie. You decide to choke the bitch. What color would she turn?"

-Kevin Townley can be seen in Shockheaded Peter this Spring!

The Truly Outrageous Adventures of Dr. Jennifer!

Last week I reported that Dr. Jennifer may or may not have adopted a Russian baby. Well surely right after I reported this, I received an alarming telephone call from Dr. Jennifer herself. "What the hell!? Why are you spreading lies about me??" she went on to say. "I didn't adopt that baby! I don't even know where that picture came from!" I managed to smooth things over with Dr. Jennifer and everything seems to be fine now.

So after chewing me out, she invited me to join her for dinner. I of course agreed and she said she would pick me up in a cab. So she picked me up and we started to drive. She was talking about stupid things like Donna Summer and Roses. Anyhow, after about 20 minutes of driving I got sort of suspicious. I was so enthralled in our conversation that I hadn't even looked out the window. Well, when I looked out we were out of the city. I had no idea where we were going. "Where are we going, Dr. Jennifer" I asked. She responded with "To dinner silly!" So we kept driving.

It's then that we got to our destination, a small cabin in the middle of the woods. Dr. Jennifer hopped out of the cab and headed towards this piece of shit shed. I really didn't want to get out of the cab, but the driver yelled at me. So I got out and my only way out of this dump, the cab, sped away.

When I looked up, Dr. Jennifer was already inside. As I made my way inside, I noticed that the cabin was absolutely empty. This wasn't fucking dinner! I'm a bit afraid of her, so I kept my mouth shut. She started to tinker about in the cabin and then grabbed my hand and led me outside. She had me hold her purse and she ran to the back of the cabin. She re-appeared driving this green tractor thing with wood on the back.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked. But she didn't say anything! She fucking smiled at me and started to drive towards the main road. I tried to hop on the fucking thing, but she kept knocking me off! She started laughing and sang the lyrics "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go."

After about a mile of chasing after her, I finally gave up. I was fucking exhausted. Dr. Jennifer slowly grew smaller in the distance. I'm not sure what happened. But I looked in her purse and found a joint. So I sat on the side of the road and smoked it.

So...don't ask me how I got home, but it involved a trucker and some Crisco. Dr. Jennifer called me a few days later and simply said "You are the sunshine of my life" and she hung up. Sometimes, I never understand that girl.


It's kind of a hot poster.

See it here!

CURSED is Cursed!

Wes Craven's new horror flick Cursed seems to be just that. Nothing but problems has happened to this picture. The film had to be re-filmed completely and re-cast once already. Its release date has been pushed back numerous times. Well, it seems that everybody involved with it knows it's gonna be a turkey. All press and early screenings for the flick have been canned! Oh well!

Jennifer Ehle to be Tracy in The Philadelphia Story in London

"Yes sluts, I took your role! And what?!"

A long list of leading ladies was rumored to join Kevin Spacey in a mounting of The Philadelphia Story in the West End. Everyone from Debra Messing to Nicole Kidman to Julia Roberts was said to be in talks. Well, the role landed to one of London's newest leading ladies, Jennifer Ehle. Ehle is best known on this side of the ocean as starring in the revival of The Real Thing on Broadway. Brava!

What is wrong with these people???: THE KANYE WEST EDITION

Kanye West really disgusts me. I said earlier that his behavior at The Grammy's really disturbed me. He's so fucking cocky for someone that almost died in a car crash. Now the asshole is saying that he should be paid for magazine covers, because he raises circulation. Kanye do us all a favor and get in another car crash! Read all about it here.

US WEEKLY TO BRITNEY: Oh no you didn't, girlfriend!! SNAP!

A few days ago, I posted Britney's Statement of Truth. Well, the gossip rag US WEEKLY has striked back at the hand that feeds them!

In a statement Thursday to The Associated Press, the magazine said: "Coming from a celebrity who sold pictures of both her wedding and her stepdaughter, it's unlikely the issue here is privacy. Could it be that Britney is seeing red after not seeing the green from these photos? Britney Spears should start a magazine if she'd like to dictate her own coverage."

She sold pictures of her step-daughter??? Just when you think the hag can't sink any lower....

Lizzie Grubman on TV should be BANNED!

"Yeah, looking really powerful there. BITCH!"

This new MTV show is really disgusting. How can they let that chowder-face grace my fucking TV! I hate her so fucking much! She should've been ran over by an SUV, not those innocent people. Life isn't fair when an ugly bitch like her is born into a rich family. Rich people should be gorgeous with luxurious hair and pristine skin!

But I'm still gonna watch it.

Power Girls

CUMMING on your Body

Alan Cumming has launched a new fragrance entitled CUMMING. He thinks he's so fucking witty. See for yourself.

Madonna channels Candy Darling

Candy Darling

Old Lady, Madonna has signed on to play a hooker in a new movie. She apparently wanted that shit so bad, that she's doing it for free. She has signed to play cross-dresser Candy Darling after begging for the part for many years. Candy Darling was one of Andy Warhol's muses and inspired Lou Reed to write Candy Says and Walk on the Wild Side.

Madge has been so fucking desperate for respect for her acting abilities. She believes this is her chance to shine. I'm sorry Madge, but you could never live down your breathtaking performance in Who's That Girl?

*update - A source has told me that indeed Lou Reed did not write Walk on the Side with inspiration from Candy Darling. It was Holly Woodlawn.

Hot Slut of the Day!

Glamour personified! Joan Collins!

Birthday Sluts

Matt Dillon (41)
Molly Ringwald (37)
Dr. Dre (40)
Vanna White (48)
John Travolta (51)
Juice Newton (53)
Cybill Shepard (55)
Yoko Ono (72)

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Austin Scarlett's Gay.com Personal?

Could this be our favorite Project Runway contestant's Gay.com personal? It looks like it, it smells like it? Why don't you see for yourself?

Bit Bit VS Tinkerbell

Britney is talking shit about Paris Hilton's beloved pooch, Tinkerbell. Both sluts have chihuahua's (they copied me actually) and are rarely seen without them. Britney wrote on her website "My dogs are stylin' and profilin." She went on to say "Von Dutch just sent them the coolest little clothes. My dogs are so much cuter than Tinkerbell."

Meanwhile, Paris' four-legged buddy isn't just content with fashionable clothes... it even inspired Paris Hilton's new jewellery collection. "Alot of people admire Tinkerbell's look," she said. "So I included a glamorous pet collar."

Both Bit Bit and Tinkerbell have nothing on Elvie! HOLLA!

Hollywood Mocking

Steven Meisel has shot a spread for Vogue Italia that pokes fun at the paparazzi's fascination with Hollywood and also how fucked up some of these celeb ho's dress! This shit is hot.

A Walk Down Memory Lane....

A few years ago, I went to see a touring production of Cabaret starring the lovely Teri Hatcher. This bitch could not sing, but she looked fucking hot! It was a night to remember. Who would've thought that piece of shit singer would one day be on one of the most successful shows of the year. I would've never guessed! I would've guessed she would've gone straight to porn personally!


People we need to act fast or our cold, furry friends will be no more! Yes it's true! Some Biological Society is pleading to the Bush administration to grant out beautiful friends endangered species status. This article was way too long for me to read, so one of yous read it and let me know what I can do to help, as long as it doesn't involve me getting out of bed! I would do anything to save these beautiful angels!


George Michael is quitting Pop Music! Like we really fucking care!

Love Will Keep Us Together!

I guess Penny and Matty are really in love and even a silly thing like work cannot divide them! They both have signed on to star in The Loop. They are set to begin work in September on this love story about a highway patrolman who after falling in love with a sexy librarian decides to search for his long-lost parents.


Alanis Morissette can become a U.S. Citizen but I can't fucking get married to a dude! Our priorities are wacked!

Alanis! You're Uninvited!

Tranny 4 U

Madge decides to hit another nail on her coffin of a career!

Madonna's latest album will be heavily rock influenced - after being inspired by glam British rockers The Darkness.

The pop superstar's new material, which is being released later this year, will have a much edgier feel to it - replacing the poppy, dance sound that could be heard on her last album 'American Life'.

The 46-year-old singer, who is married to British film director Guy Ritchie, will also play most of the guitar rifts herself as she wants the album to sound as if it's been made by a "real band".

A source told Britain's The Sun newspaper: "Madonna has become a real fan of Franz Ferdinand and loves the kitschy sound of The Darkness.
She is moving more in that direction - real sounds, like a real band. Her new album has a real hard rock feel to it.

"She always keeps in touch with what is happening and has been really into the guitar-based rock bands of 2004."

Madonna has always asked several big name producers to help on the project including Swedish duo Shy and Avant, who produced 'Toxic' for Britney Spears.

The album will also include a cover of John Lennon's classic hit 'Imagine', which she showcased on her 2004 're-Invention' tour.

Vicky to Bare All in the name of Charity!!!

Victoria Beckham is set to appear almost naked as part of a series of charity shots in British magazine Tatler.

The former Spice Girl, who is eight months' pregnant with her third child, posed for the photographs during the early stages of her pregnancy, wearing just a pair of high-heeled shoes and jewellery.

An insider said: "She wasn't completely naked - she did wear flesh-coloured underwear to preserve her modesty."

The picture is taken from the book 'Four Inches', which has been released as part of Victoria's good friend Elton John's Aids Foundation charity.
Her spokeswoman said: "She agreed to be photographed because it was her close friends Elton John and David Furnish.

Electric Snatch: Debbie Gibson's Naked Playboy Pics!

Britney's Statement of Truth!

NEW YORK, Feb. 16 /PRNewswire/ -- The following is a statement from
Britney Spears:

I am disturbed by the photos and article that appeared in this week's
issue of US Weekly Magazine (dated Feb 28, 2005), which they call my "private
honeymoon album." Kevin and I chose a resort location where we were promised
absolute privacy and seclusion. Unfortunately, staff members took photographs
of us, which we allowed them to take once we were assured they were being
taken only for private use in a scrap book they gave us as a souvenir of our
honeymoon. Other magazines, including the Star, contacted us when presented
with these photographs and refused to publish them. Kevin and I thank those
other magazines for respecting our rights of privacy.

Slut Redemption!

Here at The D-List we love nothing more than to give to those less fortunate than ourselves. This is why on January 31st 2005 we started our much beloved Hot Slut of the Day. We are giving this day to those who are pretty much forgotten. Yes, sometimes there are exceptions and we do include A-Listers, but they must be really hot. Anyhow, to make a stupid story even more stupid, we have decided to sink to a lower level and start Hot Slut of the Week and Hot Slut of the Month and of course, Hot Slut of the Year. So each week, we will take those lovely ladies and gents who have had the esteem pleasure of being Hot Slut of the Day and they will compete for Hot Slut of the Week and those sluts of the week will compete for the month, well you get it. You're dumb, but not that dumb.

Since in January there was only one Hot Slut of the Day, she automatically wins Hot Slut of the Month. So our gorgeous Hot Slut of January is:

Dorian Lord, the most gorgeous woman in Llanview!

We must also use this time to announce our Hot Sluts of the Week for the week ending February 4th and February 11th. So, for the week ending February 4th, we are pleased to announce that our Hot Slut of the Week is:

Stefanie Powers! After much consideration she was the hottest of them all. She has grace, beauty and a career that's in the dumps!

And to show our patheticism (is that a word?) even more, we must announce that our Hot Slut of the Week for February 11th is:

Cherie Johnson! The panel and I decided that she is worth of being our darling for the week. Oh God, how we miss those belts around her head!

So darlings! There's our picks for new! Tune in next week to see how much lower I will sink!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Leslie Easterbrook who played Rhonda on Laverne & Shirley was my fucking idol!

Birthday Sluts

Jerry O'Connell (31)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (24)
Paris Hilton (24)
Jason Ritter (25)
Denise Richards (34)
Tuesday Knight (36)
Lou Diamond Phillips (43)
Dame Edna (71)

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

La Lopez: Shall We Dance Makes Me Sick!

Jennifer Lopez has cancelled all of her European engagements due to an "illness" She was set to attend the London premiere of Shall We Dance tonight and also promote her new album Rebirth. Her peeps won't say what the issue is.

Is that a dog with Fran?

Broadway's Newest Leading Hags!

From the press preview of Steel Magnolias: Delta Burke can't believe she's actually on Broadway again! This looks pretty tired.

CBGB no more?

The New York Post is reporting that NYC's famed haunt, CBGB is in danger of closing down for good. Read on

Carolyn Muphy Nabs SI Swimsuit Cover!

I guess the bitch that won the model search on NBC didn't get it. Better luck next time!

La Lopez & Beyonce Do Pepsi

The Taste of Pepsi!

The Bling-Bling

Engagement rings...please? Nicole's is better!


This shit will be hot.

Kid Rock Don't Let the Man Get You Down!

Kid Rock was arrested in Nashville on Wednesday after he punched the lights out of a DJ at a strip club. What a piece of white trash! He was later released on $3,000 bail.

Hey Ya'll, It's my Honeymoons!

Brits and K-Fed are currently on honeymoon and here are the trashy pics. God she's such a piece of trash! A $45 Million dollar piece of trash that is!

More Pics

The Poseidon Adventure Sets Sail Again!

Warner Bros. planned remake of the 1972 cult classic The Poseidon Adventure will begin filming in May. Wolfgang Petersen (The Perfect Storm) will helm the big budget thriller with shooting to continue till September in Los Angeles. They are prepping for a 2006 Release. The new version will take place in present day and follow a new cast of characters as they attempt to survive after a tidal wave flips their ship! Pamela Sue Martin was so fucking hot in this!

Listen to the plot of this one!

Brad Pitt has signed on to star in Sony's Chad Schmidtt, a film that is being described as mostly comedy and a little bit of fantasy. The flick centers on a young man named Chad Schmidt who comes to Los Angeles in the 80s with dreams of movie stardom in his eyes. But the thing is, Chad Schmidt looks a lot like another actor by the name of Brad Pitt. So, as Brad Pitt becomes a big screen legend, Chad Schmidt becomes a joke and uncastable. Yeah, this is a good one! Ooof!

Eucalyptus: In the dump?

Everyone is wondering what is going on with Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman's current project Eucalyptus. They are in Australia at this moment to film the flick, but production has been halted. I reported earlier that the reason was because Ms. Kidman was having a tit job. Producers are saying that the script "needs work" before they can continue filming. Co-Star Geoffrey Rush told Australian papers that the script seemed fine to him and he's not sure what the real problem is. Now crew members on the set are saying that the problem is Russell Crowe's ego. Apparently, he wants his role written bigger and wants more "speeches." Eucalyptus could be doomed and never get back in front of the lenses. Damn! Now we won't get to see Nicole's newly developed bosoms!

TV RATINGS: Idol can't beat CSI!

And CSI was victorious this week as many thought American Idol would once again be number 1! Think again Simon!

#1 - CSI, CBS
#2 - American Idol-Tuesday, FOX
#3 - American Idol-Wednesday, FOX
#4 - Desperate Housewives, ABC
#5 - Without a Trace, CBS
#6 - CSI:Miami, CBS
#7 - Grammy Awards, CBS
#8 - Lost, ABC
#9 - E.R., NBC
#10 - Everybody Loves Raymond, CBS

Hot Slut of the Day!

Linda Evangelista: The Most Gorgeous Woman to Ever Grace This World!

Birthday Sluts

Steve Kmetko (52)
Christopher Eccleston (41)
John McEnroe (46)
Ice-T (47)
LeVar Burton (48)
Sonny Bono (70)

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Alice Preggers!

Alice Kim aka Mrs. Nicolas Cage aka the smartest girl in Hollywood is knocked up! This will make Nicolas Cage a two-time father. Isn't Alice like 15 or something?

Sharon Stone: Songwriter

Gorgeous actress Sharon Stone is teaming up with socialite and horse-face Denise Rich to co-write a song benefiting the Tsunami victims. The song currently titled "Come Together Now" will feature the talents (used loosely) of Linday Lohan, Natalie Cole, Aretha Franklin, Mya, JoJo, Lionel Richie, Patti LaBelle, Paulina Rubio and many more!

The Hottest Bitch at Westminster!

I Believe I Can Fly (yes it's that sluts name)got robbed of the fucking title!

Michael K on MySpace

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